RED LIGHT

RED UNBALANCE LIGHT INDICATES WASHER HAS SHUT OFF. RAISE LID – DISTRIBUTE CLOTHES EVENLY – CLOSE LID – CYCLE WILL RESUME AUTOMATICALLY.

We could all use a “red unbalance light” if not for ourselves, at least for others to see, register, and avoid. Not that we’re not a bit unbalanced all the time, shifting weight, opinions, contradictions, priorities, but the red light indicates that the load is so off that the machine has come to a stop. Only a re-distribution will get things going again. Really what we need is the yellow light, the one that comes before the red one, the warning that the wet stuff better be shifted or it’s coming to a grinding halt. (I’ve always thought that an “Asshole Crossing” sign would also be a helpful forewarning.) This light would come on even before the machine started to shake and bounce around, prior to the loud knocking noises. However, if you come into the laundromat, start the load, check the clock, and plan to come back about the time it finishes, then it’s a real pain in the ass. You come back thinking stage one is done only to find that it’s the lean-over, pull-on-heavy-wet- towels, threatening-lower-back-spasms time. This is a very similar feeling when coming back to the dryer to see that the door wasn’t all the way shut so the dryer never turned on and the wet clothes look a bit bewildered laying on the floor of the botched circular ride. Hopefully, the timer only starts when the dryer goes and not when the quarter went in. Either way, the laundry process has been interrupted and efficiency lost because when it all comes down to it, no one really wants to sit in a laundry waiting on clothes. Except for me maybe.

That thought reminds me of a guy who told me that if you love what you’re doing, you’ll do it for free. He looked at me, then my writing pad, and back at me to make his point. We had been talking abut food stamps, disability, and anti-employment sentiment. I’d met Eddie several months before when he’d first come to town, pack and tent on his back. He was living up Grizzly Gulch near the old lime kilns (built in the late 1860's). In fact, some other guy came back with him one night and was so drunk he fell into one of the tall old brick structures. Not so good, bad in fact. Didn’t know what he’d look like when the sun rose. He was okay though.

Anyway, this conversation with Eddie was in winter and he was telling me that he was now living with his girlfriend in her place near the Laundry and describing the last time he went down to get food stamps –he was a regular. The food-stamp worker had said that he looked young and fit and employable and why didn’t he get work. He didn’t know why but he answered back that he didn’t want to pay taxes.

"Does it bother you that I work and pay taxes that go to paying for your food stamps.”

“No, not really.”

We talked on about getting money when disabled and that his girlfriend received social security benefits for psychiatric reasons. He was musing about ways he could make that work for himself. I gingerly asked what kind of work he’d want to do if he was working. He replied a bit too quickly that he’d had work, done this or that, but that he really didn’t want to put all his time into something he hated. I sure understood that. A couple of years ago, trying to find income here in Helena, I answered an ad for a marketing job in grocery stores. I got the packet in the mail with full instructions on how to market products from my little cardboard table cheerily decorated with little American flags (one example) to attract grocery shoppers to sample the new food or beverage. Relatively, effort expended to dollar received (except for having to schlep one's own table, cloth, said flag, microwave or crock pot), it was an okay job. What threw me though was the hairnet and apron that I was required to wear. The woman on the front of the instruction book looked very happy, eerily so. Fortunately, I had to go out of town and by the time I got back all the positions were filled. The name of the company was New Concepts in Marketing. Isn’t there a truth-in-advertising clause somewhere? I’ll never look at the food-sample people the same ever again. Flag or no flag, they are moving the economy along.

I then applied at Osco because I saw that they did not have to wear uniforms. However, as part of the application process, I had to sit at a computer and answer a 100-question (maybe it was 300) survey that they used to determine team spirit, level of happiness per hour of subservience, anger management, and patience. After being asked the same question the 25th different way, I was certain that I would flunk the test. They kept asking if I’d ever had problems with a supervisor, been angry enough to use profanity in public, and if I played well with others. By then, I was broken, cursing, hated team players, and knew I would not get a call. I didn’t.

I’ve gotten out of whack before. I shouldn’t have needed a yellow or red light, the machine was shaking and quaking and making a loud racket but I kept going. By the time things grounded to a halt, my engine was burned out. I know what employment disability is like and redistributing the heavy stuff afterward so it wasn’t hard at all to understand where Eddie was coming from. After he left, I pondered how the world could manage without work and pay, the money exchange. I’m no economist or cavewoman so I didn’t come up with any good ideas. There are people that like, even love, to work. There are people that don’t care to “pull their own weight.” There are people that can’t do either one. Green, yellow, red lights. I don’t know that this is a case where “it takes all kinds.” I do know that there are Like Kinds and the piles really shouldn’t be washed together but if so, on cold.

My present job (have I mentioned that I work as the development director at the Myrna Loy Center?) took me to the State Capitol this week to give a 3-minute testimony at the HB 9 Cultural and Aesthetic Grants Program Hearings of the Long-Range Planning Appropriations Subcommittee (I worked really hard to get all the words in the right order). The grants are funded by interest earned on the Montana Cultural Trust, its corpus established from coal money long ago (meaning I can’t find the exact dates or type of levy/tax information online) provides funding to at least a three-page, single-spaced, type-size 10, excel spreadsheet list of non-profit organizations. I got to listen to about 20 of them before I testified for the Myrna --as we affectionately call the center. The best and l o n g e s t testimony was from a senior citizen of the town of Conrad, population 2,500. She said that when she found out that their grant had been cut in half, she cried so much and was so sad that she had to go to the doctor to get Zoloft. She was a gem of a citizen and quite funny in her persuasive, older-woman-from-one’s-childhood-church way, sweetly reprimanding the committee about funding her town’s art council. In a nice touch, one senator leaned over to the chairperson and said, “Now, you know her son.” I bet they got a grant. Another testifier was told by the chairman, “Be sure and tell the Weisners hello.” Back to our million citizens in this giant land of Montana, I do like that neighborly way. The only drawback is that sometimes (not all the time) if you don’t have a mama from Montana or know the Weisners, you don’t get to play with the big kids.

The best part of going to the capitol though was taking pictures. My friend Barb works in the Governor's Office of Indian Affairs and she showed me around. My friend and fellow Myrna staff member, Krys, was also there that morning. Both were game for Kodak moments, as you can see.

Along the photograph lines…I went cross-country skiing on Saturday as the snow was bountiful and the day gorgeous. However, I have not put on a pair of those narrow sticks in about 25 years. There is a particular muscle on the inner thigh that hadn’t made itself known to me in about that long too. Friend DD tells me that there is a certain age that it is okay to take Advil before and after exercising. She also said that face-plants, full-body spread-eagle falls, are reminders of how much we loved tumbling in the snow when we were children. That was way more than 25 years ago so that memory will take longer. Still it was a beautiful day and the snow tasted really good.

It is very quiet at the Laundry this afternoon except for meeting the Drew Family, two adults and three children. Kim and Joe are the new owners of the Jailhouse Sandwich Shop and Soup Kitchen. (I had The Smuggler today, roast beef with whisky garlic cream cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, onions and some other things on wheat with the potato salad.) They moved to Helena in the late 1990’s and their son grew up coming here. He knew Sambo as the “sandwich man.” Kim and Joe both seemed very happy to have their new business. Kim said that this neighborhood is the friendliest in town, “people wave at you when you go by it's a community within a community.” She’s certainly not the first or the last to make that comment. They have just added to the cheer.

Meanwhile, Emma is trying to figure out a sound, that of a crumpled dollar bill going in and out of the change machine. She’s cocking her doggie head and ears. Ah, finally the quarters. Back to nap for her. Not much of a fan base today, only a few brief, “you’re dog is so cute.” One admirer was a young woman that came in with her friend and happened to say “fuck” as she was sorting through her laundry. She quickly apologized to me. I said that I didn’t fucking care what she said. “That’s my girl,” she laughed. Emma twitched.

Until next time, remember:
FOR PERSONAL SAFETY: AFTER RAISING LID BE SURE TUB HAS COMPLETELY STOPPED BEFORE REACHING IN.